I feel like a new woman!
I've been fighting depression for almost 2 years now. I tried many combinations of medicines and even saw a psychiatrist for a bit. Nothing really worked for me so I got discouraged and stopped everything awhile ago. Funny thing is, it seemed like my mind was clear again, but the laziness, the yelling at the kids, the not cooking and the sleeping all the time was still there.
So I went back to my doctor a couple of months ago and she restarted me on Lexapro 10mg, 1x a day and clonazapam .5mg, 2x a day. I gave it a while to work and it didn't. I felt I got worse and ended up in my doctors office crying to her that all I ever wanted to be in my life was a mother and now I didn't want to be a mother anymore. I'd lie in bed and list the pros & cons of life against death. (Don't worry, I wasn't really suicidal - my kids will always win against any idea of death).
So she doubled my medicine doses and suggested I talk with a psychologist. So I went home and started my higher doses which made me so tired for 2 weeks I could barely get out of bed. But after those 2 weeks I felt different. A little better. Glen & I talked and decided the best way for me to recover was to take things one step at a time and not to get overwhelmed and shut down like I normally do. So when I started to feel better I sat down with Glen and asked him what's next and he said "start cooking". We have been eating out for so long it's no wonder I"m 191 pounds and it really ate into our money.
So, to end this long story, I started cooking daily which keeps me on to of cleaning my kitchen at least. But I find myself going around the house every day and cleaning here and there. I'm yelling at the kids less and taking them outside to play more and I started exercising.
I feel so good about myself and I'm not overwhelmed. I'm finding keeping up with things in my life is not hard at all and most of all, my husband is so proud of me. He's been so encouraging because he wants me well. I am so lucky to have the family I do and happy that I'm getting well for me and them!
One Response to “I feel like a new woman!”
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I feel like I am a lazy mom. Althouogh I do a lot, I ahve my own business, and I am launching another May 1st, I also help at my boyfriends restraunt all the time, and I am in school full time. So why do I feel like such a lazy person, I am tired all the time, I never seem to want to go outside anymore. And really my two year old needs to get outside. I live in northern mt, snowy and cold 8 months out of the year. I don’t think that helps any. I just don’t know anymore? I need to lose some wieght because I feel like a cow at 183 lbs, I ahve always been around 135-145 lbs all of my life, until I got pregnant and then to busy and lazy to get out of the house and hike, bike, or just go for a walk. I went to the doctor yesterday and told her I can bearly keep my eyes open while I am driving because I am so tired all of the time. I think she thinks it is stress induced, and I am way over doing things. Today was my daughters custody hearing, it went as best it could have. I am hoping it will bring some relief of stress. What can I say, I need to loose, 50 lbs. And I don’t know where to ind the energy, I could make time, I think, but I just want to sit on my big ass and waste any time away I am not busy with my shop, getting the landscaping business together, doing home work, trying to ahve a relationship, and beinng a mom, not to mention taking care of all the animals. What do I do?
Danielle says:
